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Bisexuality – To Be or NOT to BE?
Bisexuality? To Be or Not To be….
Whassup ya’ll?! Sorry it is so late in the day for this post but ya girl got caught up…
Let’s get to it, shall we?
I recently (last week) had someone tell me that Bi-sexuality was not “for real”.
Is it possible to have an interest in men as well as women?
I don’t mean just straight women who sometimes get down with women to make their boyfriends happy or as a gift to the men in their lives.
I mean guys and gals who are sexually/emotionally ACTIVE with both genders. Does this happen or are these Bi-sexuals just people who want to have their cake and eat it too (Pun totally intended)?
If Bi-sexuality is recognized as an actual sexual preference(for lack of a better word, as I beleive that bi-sexuality is a sexual category that should be widely recognized) would these instances of men on the Down-Low be as prevelant as they are now?
Many see the married men who engage in side relationships with other men as Gay not bisexual. I don’t think that this is always the case.
I think that these men are bisexual and that much of the trouble caused by their side engagements (broken families AIDS and other STD’s)would be non-existent if society did not stigmatize and marginalize relationships that do not involve the traditional set-up of man and woman.
What about women in relationships with men who have side relationships with other women?
Is this just as unacceptable or is this more acceptable?
Some feel that because of the way that many girls are socialized (girls share more information with one another and tend to be more touchy-feely with their friends growing up) their connection to other women is more natural than the man on man counter-relationship.
I am terribly interested in what you’all (ya’ll) think!
French a sistah and be as safe as one can.
Peace.
And for the record I do indeed want to have my cake and eat it too–just so ya know (wink)
11/7/2006
A Day In The Life…Nostalgia Ahead!
Hello all, I am feeling a little nostalgic and decided to post some ramblings about my family’s home-town. I visited during Hurricane Rita and unfortunately Rita followed to a degree. Not too much heavy damage considering what others lost and the family was able to spend some quality time together. I took the opportunity to visit some of our old stomping grounds and some of my late relatives haunting grounds.
This is the firepalce that stood in my grandparents bedroom. Its weird because I could smell the wood burning like it did when I was 10 years old! (More than 20 years ago)
It would get very cold in the old house at night even though it was southern Mississippi. I am told that my grandfather (Paw Paw) built the 9 bedroom/1 bathroom house himself over a time. The house was wood and had a tin roof. My grandfather died a few years ago during the Thanksgiving holiday and we buried my grandmother (Granny) on New Years Day 2 years ago. At any given time during the summer there would be nearly 20 grandchildren in the house who had to share that 1 bathroom. These days that would be unheard of (and it should be! LOL) but we had quite a time at that old house. Standing in line for the bathroom every morning with my cousins was actually a lot of fun. We had to be quiet and look straight ahead (Paw Paw was in WWII and a lifelong military man) and be “ready” for our turn which needed to be as swift as possible as others needed to use the facilities.
The fireplace seems so small now but as a kid it seemed like it would swallow the whole house when it was lit. The smell of pine chased us through the entire woodframe structure. I miss those hot summers, the foot-tubs filled with fried fish, the Stageplank cookies and being young, being with cousins who doubled as bestfriends, and swimming in an actual creek every single day, and oh the sound of rain on that tin roof.
I remember nature everywhere, raw and obliging all at once. We saw snakes that never bit us, wasps, bees, yellow jackets and walking sticks (the insect) that went along their way, never giving us a second thought. We let them be and they let us share their space peacefully and not so peacefully when we became to aggressive in our curiosity of them. I miss this life as I type on my laptop at a WiFi cafe in “civilization”. I want both the “middle of nowhere” and freshly prepared sushi. I think in the end I will give up the latter for the former, if I wake up and smell the noxious fumes.
Oh well. French a sistah and be as safe as one can. Hey! share a nice childhood story with me! I dare ya!
11/6/2006
I Hate Movies Monday! Spoiler Alert!
Hello boys and girls! Beware that there are some spoilers all up in through this piece ya’ll! Sorry!
Well it’s the day we all wait for…I Hate Movies Monday. As you know I don’t really hate movies. I love and hate movies which is far far different. Now the Movie that I love/hate for the moment is Catch A Fire.
It is based on the true story of an ordinary citizen going revolutionary or terrorist depending on your take. Okay the Title character played brilliantly by Derek Luke works in a coal mining facility as a foreman. Has a lovely pageant winning wife and two little girls. He also has a child from an extra-marital affair and tries to spend time with his son (from the affair) as well. Then there is Tim Robbins. The head of an anti-terrorist task force for the government. He too has a family, two daughters and wife. He cares about his family as well and also faces some domestic strife. The situation gets sticky when Derek Luke is wrongly accused of treason for which he and his wife are tortured by Robbins’ faction.
They are unceremoniously released after they are found to be not guilty. And that’s all she wrote ya’ll things go from bad to worse as Luke leaves his home to become a freedom fighter and his wife must fend for herself and her children.
Okay, Femigog has got to admit that she was moved to tears in a couple spots. I am trying not to say a lot about the film in case ya’ll wanna check it out. It was very well acted, even though I don’t know if I would have cast Tim Robbins. He seemed a little out of place to me for some reason. I don’t know if I prefer him comedically or what but he did alright. Derek Luke stole the show for me. His everyman/anyman portrayl was spot on and I felt like he could have been of any ethnicity and in ANY country in the world. This movie sends a clear message about torture as tactic in my limited opinion. I say that because at first Luke is tortured and lies about his involvement to save his wife, okay, many men would do this and I’d like to think vice versa for women. Robbins realizes that it is a lie and releases him. Finds him dealing in revolution for real, threatens him and Luke says what I think speaks to the effectiveness of torture tactics, “there is nothing else you can do to me…” By this point the man is OVER the government, he is OVER what is supposed to be justice and fairness. At that point torture NEVER would have worked as he was far too committed to his cause and so far against the government. I purposely left out discussions of ethnicity and nationality because I think the story could be told in ANY location about ANY ethnicity and THAT is why I Love/hate this movie. A must see ya’ll… I am def gonna have to get he soundtrack for this movie. The music was so passionate and beautiful (in an anti-oppression sorta way–and who wants to be oppressed? NOBODY!)
Alright… that is all for now, French a sistah and be as safe as one can…
Peace.
11/3/2006
Oh No He Didn’t Dating Etiquette 102
Hello friends, this entry will be kinda personal in that I will discuss some hardcore gender issues stuff.
I recently went out on a date. There were 3 couples including me and the blind-date that I was set up with. Now me and the guy don’t really know what to say to one another and the other 2 couples are gabbing away like best friends. It was all very awkward for he and myself, until the subject of marriage came up.
Well he quickly chimed in with how he woould probably never get married ( he looked at me as he said it). Everyone noticed that his little comment was for my benefit (he did’t want me gettin any ideas early on about the nature of our association). That’s cool, man. I don’t know if I will ever get married but I know it won’t be to you if I do (To myself I said this of course).
I asked him why not out of couriosity and he told me that he didn’t want to be “tied” down by “some” woman and a bunch of kids. As if the woman would conjure these kids magically in some fairytale fashion.
I said “you do realize that the kids would be yours as well and that they wouldn’t really tie you down if you wanted children.
“Yeah well, of course you think that, you’re a woman.” That’s what he said! Can you believe that?!
So generally men feel that women and kids tie them down? I asked.
Basically. Not all but the majority, but they won’t admit it. When men have kids it’s usually because the woman “just happened to get pregnant”says he.
Are you shitting me? Did the guy not fuck too? Who “just happens” to get pregnant? It ain’t like findin’ a penny mutha fucka! Yes I said this out loud…..there goes the 2nd date, Thank Goodness!
He went on to tell me to “calm down” and that he just likes to let women know where he stands in case they think “gettin pregnant” was going to make him settle down. He is not really about all of that domestic shit.
“Boy and I do mean boy puhleeze! You think you something trap? I cant believe you moms got that big assed head through the birth canal!”
This was the end of the exchange as my friends changed the subject to movies (chumps!).
I hate that fools like him act as if the realm of the domestic was something negative, that’s where all the hard shit gets taught; which is why I encourage reproduction for those parents who work hard to do it right!
I am not a man, and I don’t have children, but I refuse to believe that most men feel tied down while most women feel magnanimous in victory over “trapping” some dude. Plus I know some Janes who feel a little bit shawshanked by the wife and kids gig!
Suffice it to say, he did not get laid. And that’s saying something because I can be pretty easy when I wanna be.
My friends later reported that he “liked” me (apparently I’m some kind of challenge! Fuck Him!–and not literally either. Hell I’m easy but not that damned easy) and that I should go out with all of them again but try not to scare him off with all that feminist stuff.
“If you keep that up you will never get anybody, and you aren’t getting any younger” they said.
OUCH YOU BITCHES!!
Who said I wanted that fool and if I did I would tame his ass in a heartbeat. And when did I become a charity case and spinster to these “friends”? I missed that girlfriend meeting. Anyway, hit me back with whatever you like, I love feedback as you all know!
Later days and RESPECT THE SPHERE OF THE DOMESTIC!!! That’s where we all started and if we are lucky where we will all end, in the arms of unconditional love.
French a sistah and be as safe as one can!
Peace!
11/1/2006
Black Jesus! The Revolution May be Playing At A Theater Near You
Sup Ya’ll, Now I was gonna get down about some other topics but something caught ya girl’s eye today instead. You know how I love/hate movies right? Right.
Guess the Fuck What?
There is a movie about the life of Jesus coming out in actual theaters (none of that movie of the week shit) with a primarily black cast. I mean like Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and Judas are ALL black. Instead of that shit where the only black person in the situation is JUDAS and he is portrayed as the biggest turncoat ever to be put on the planet. Yeah that’s right. In every other Jesus film we and our kids get the message that it’s fine if you got black friends but know that they lack loyalty and are all about their 30 pieces of silver! Fuck that and fuck Mel Gibson and his lily white history of the Prophet! Do not get me on this fool. Now I got no beef with actors who wanna direct and all but that shit about William Wallace PuhLeeeeze! I think it may be me because of my love of the documentary I HATE it when film makers fuck with the facts to make the shit palatable. Give me the meat and not the damned dessert! Okay, back to my rant…
WHY the FUCK have I (not just me mind you, I mean who the fuck am I right?) heard nothing about this movie The Color of the Cross?
All my conspiracy theorists please tell ya girl what the deal is on this shit. It came out in select theaters on October 27th! Are you shitting me?! It starts in my neck of the woods on the 10th of November and I plan to see it and report back to ya’ll poste haste! Here is the thing ya’ll, you know how most movies, indie and otherwise all open in like New York , LA and Chi-town first. Not this one ya’ll. It hist the bible belt first, Georgia, Tennesee…there are some showings in MD and MI I think as well but the heaviest rotation is in the south where there is a history of anti-black sentiment. I have a few damned questions to ask as well….now I know that Mel “sugar tits” Gibson has the scratch to promote his shit big time but what of black actors who sleep on top of mounds of bloody cash? Why not push this effort? Or at least mention it to your audience? Denzel was on Oprah yesterday, that would have been the perfect vehicle. and what about Oprah “I feel your pain” Winfrey? You would think that this would peek her interest right? Don’t worry my rant about her is coming and I promise you it wont be pretty. I like Oprah but sometimes she and Gail really PISS me off with their fucking clueless and too far removed lifestyles! No she aint got to shop at Big Lots or Wal-mart (my arch nemisis–I will destroy you Wal-mart) but uhm, saying shit like can you believe these boots are only 800 dollars? That’s incredible! Are you still on crack sis? I wish her show/viewer-ship was more diverse and indicative of the actual status of the majority of the world which is middle to below middle class! Giving cars to folks who ALREADY consume too much and give back too little annoys the shit out of me! There are whole TOWNS that could be revitalized with that kind of money! Okay Okay…yeah black Jesus and what not! Well check out the trailer….
Oh well that is all for now…french a sister and be as safe as one can…Who says the Revolution won’t be televized? Shit with a student ID the Revolution will be a bargain at your local theaters… WHERE THE HELL IS SPIKE LEE WHEN YOU NEED TO BE BEAT OVER THE HEAD WITH A POINT?
Peace
Pass that Boy a Babydoll
I have to say a few words about masculinity and femininity as social constructs and lies. I was asked to answer a question asked of me by a fellow blogger and will lift what I replied to her question about what I felt about little girls playing with dolls. I went off on a tangent but here it goes:
Actually I don’t mind girls playing with dolls, my problem is that little boys don’t play with dolls and they all grow up to be daddies. If dolls are to socialize girls toward mommy-hood then how do we socialize our boys towards daddy-hood? With war toys, trucks. Not good in my book.
As for Barbie, she was in a relationship with Ken for 50 years without being married to him (I don’t know how I feel about this), she had a number of careers (great in my book). My problem is with self image and how the blonde-blue eyed barbie is the proto-tyoe for all subsequent “fashion dolls”. Like the Mexican barbie is a shade darker with the same face but brown eyes. They just throw traditional mexican clothing on her. That sucks. The only barbie that represents asian culture is Hawaian, America’s favorite supposed-Asian (I think I spelled that wrong) not Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese…ect. So many little girls see these images and latch on because they are bombarded constantly through television and glamour rags. This is a very long response, sorry but I could go on forever.
Masculinity is even worse for boys because the abscence of societal masculinity can cause them to face physical harm and sometimes death (Mathew Shephard for example). Action figures like the pro-wrestlers and GI Joes tells boys you have to be like this to be considered manly, otherwise you are the worst kind of man there is……a Pussy(you remember my little tirade about the vagina right)! And that is one of the worst insults you can level at a fella.
Hope I answered well enough, if not let me know and I will clarify.
This is the short and oversimplified opinion of myself on the question of girls and boys, dolls and such. Hawaiians as America’s favorite Asian is an oversimplification, especially since Hawaiians are Americans. My point is that America Beauty can be narrow to the point of exclusion for some (Many) Americans.
Please nobody reply that I hate America, that’s ridiculous, I love America because there are few other places where my blog could be written or read. Don’t answer with some obscure doll reference that is the perfect representation of an overlooked minority group. This is about mainstream, Popular culture. Of course the parents of minority children look hard for toys that speak to their child’s cultural needs and in many cases create them themselves to fulfill that need. Where does that leave the children of the mainstream Popular culture in terms of cultural variety and growth? If they fit the embraced image and only see the embraced image then they only see reflections of themselves and are oblivious to the beautiful differences of others.
Little boys, Little boys…..scary things to come for them. hyper-masculine toys, the abscence of feelings and no emotional growth is what makes the “man”. If they do otherwise, they get the dreaded feminization tags of Punk, Sissy, Bitch, Pussy and oh no hold on to your testicles(now turn and cough–jsut kidding)…..FAG. Masculinity excludes women so vehemently that one foot outside the masculine construct will get you beaten or killed (Some “macho” men have cruised around targeting gay men for violation). Girls can step outside of the feminine construct to ridicule and in the extreme isolation but generally not murder. I should have made this 2 separate entries, no worries.
TO BE CONTINUED…….
Later days
French a Sister and be as safe as one can! Tomorrow will be a special treat as I do the retail rant. Now to pay the bills I work retail part time and oh the high times I do have and I will share these lovely experiences with ya’ll (or maybe I’ll tell ya about my Halloween date of doom)…that’s right it is a savings extravaganza (I dont think I spelled that right)…well too bad cuz I aint spell checking!
Peace
10/30/2006
I hate Movies Monday!!!
Wassup ya’ll. Forgive the late post but I had a late day at the university (the bus was late) and I just got in. To make up for it I have decided to include some photos to go along with my narrative this evening. Now I said that I was gonna talk about one of two movies last time…either The Last King of Scotland or Catch A Fire. Now apparently I am a damned liar cuz I saw neither of these instead I watched a documentary on fundamentalist Christian children called Jesus Camp. I love documentaries and couldnt pass this one up because it reminded me of my strict Baptist upbringing in Southern Mississippi.
This past Sunday I went to lunch and a movie all by my lonesome (I wanted to mind you) and had loads of fun!
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